


I'm fuckin gay

by Miilkobitch



Series: One shots [2]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M, mentions of child abuse, mentions of domestic abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 12:05:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10899012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miilkobitch/pseuds/Miilkobitch
Summary: Mickey comes out to his mom





	I'm fuckin gay

Mickey never felt the need to tell anyone his darkest secret. Quite frankly, he wanted it to be something only he knew until the day he died, and that day was probably going to come a hell of a lot faster if he said anything but, for what ever reason, he couldn't keep it to himself anymore. He had to tell someone because all of the emotions going through him threatened to make him explode if he didn't get it out.

So he asked his mom to go on a walk with him. She eagerly obliged, obviously needing a reason to get away from Terry after last nights rampage that involved a lot of beer and drugs.

They grabbed their jackets and headed out quietly, not wanting to wake Terry who was passed out on the couch. They both let out a sigh of relief when they made it away from the house without his dad bursting through the front door.

"What's this about?" She asked sweetly. Everything she said was always gentle which never seized to amaze Mickey after all the years of abuse she has endured.

"I just wanna get a little further away from here before I say anything. Not really safe to say it around here," Mickey said quietly and shrugged.

His mom nodded in understanding, draping an arm around his shoulders and kissed the side of his head. They found a park that was right outside of their neighborhood. It was still south side, but no one here would know them. Not that it matter because the park was completely deserted for the time being. That sat down on a bench and stayed silent for a while. His mom didn't push, didn't make him feel like he had to hurry. He wanted to believe that maybe she wasn't pushing because she didn't want to go back to Terry, but part of him thought that she wasn't pushing simply because she gave a shit about him which was pretty weird seeing as he didn't have the most loving family.

"What I'm about to tell you could get me killed," he mumbled, not looking at anything specific but keeping his eyes forward.

"Not gonna let anything happen to you," she said, looking at the side of his face.

He so badly wanted to believe that, he really did, but all of the bruises and cuts on his body that were left by her husband told him otherwise. He knew that if she tried to defend him against Terry, it would just make it worse and if she tried to leave and take Mandy and him with her, Terry would just find them and nothing about the situation was black and white. Nothing was ever that easy with Terry. That being said, his mom couldn't protect him. Not from this or from him.

Mickey shook his head. "Terry will be doing the killing. You won't be able to stop him. He'll just kill you first so he can go after me with minimal effort," Mickey snorted, knowing it wasn't funny in the least but he couldn't stop himself. It was strange to him that people actually had loving homes where the phrase 'my dad is going to kill me' was just a hyperbole. He wasn't so lucky.

"Then we'll just have to make sure Terry doesn't find out," she shrugged, rubbing his back.

"What if I tell you and you hate me, too? Who'll keep me safe then?" He asked, feeling more vulnerable than he ever had.

"You're my son. I love you. I don't tell you that often enough, but I do. I love you and no matter what comes out of your mouth right now, I will never hate you," she promised, placing her index and middle finger on his chin, turning his head so he was looking at her.

He swallowed dryly and nodded, chewing on his lip. He took a deep breath and decided to use his new found courage and jump. "I'm gay," he muttered, looking down so he wouldn't have to see her face in case it was one of disgust.

They were both silent for a few minutes, taking in the information that was just put out on table. Mickey almost instantly regretted saying the words and wanted so badly to shove the words back into his mouth.

He was taken by surprise when his mom put a comforting hand on his back and rubbed up and down. "What's his name?"

He looked at her confused for a moment before sighing softly. "Ian. Ian Gallagher," he replied, locking his eyes on his shoes.

"He your boyfriend?" She asked, pulling a pack of cigarettes out and put one between her lips before handing one to Mickey.

Mickey took it and nodded his thanks. "Not really. I don't know. We're not even really friends. We just bang and go our separate ways," he mumbled, putting the cigarette between his lips and lit it. He inhaled deeply as he put his back against the bench.

She nodded thoughtfully and looked at the side of his face. "Do you want him to be your boyfriend?"

"No," he answered instantly, shaking his head. "Absolutely not. It wouldn't end well for either of us. Especially if Terry found out. He's good. He's gonna get the hell out of here. He's gonna graduate and join the fuckin army. Make a difference or some shit. I'm the complete opposite. I'm south side through and through. No getting out. Fucked for life."

"Hey, that's my son you're talking about and I'll be damned if I let someone berate my son," she scolded, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "Mickey, you're not trash. You're worthy. You're the furthest thing from dumb. Sure, you have a bad attitude 97 percent of the time, but you're also the second sweetest kid I have. Mandy will probably always have you beat with that. But I don't want you to ever feel like you don't deserve to love and be love without shame. If you don't want a relationship with Ian, fine. You don't have to have one, but don't make him think you want that if you don't, okay? It's not fair to either of you."

"It's not that simple," he mumbled. "When I'm with him, I forget about the shit show that is my life. He tells awful jokes and he's always way too optimistic, he looks at me like I'm responsible for the sun rising every morning or whatever poetic shit people are saying these days. I hate it just as much as I love it. But if I let him in, he's gonna get hurt. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he got hurt."

"My only way of understanding this is my love for you kids. Ive never been romantically in love. I don't know how it feels. But I know that I'm in love with you and your siblings and the second each of you were placed in my arms, I vowed that I would always protect you. Always try my hardest to get you out of this shithole with the least amount of damage. I don't know if I'm doing very well, but I know that you'd be a hell of a lot better at it than me, and that tells me that Ian will be just fine. I know you'll always protect him. That's just the kind of man you are," she said sincerely, kissing his temple.

"I'm scared, mom," he mumbled, rubbing his nose with his thumb.

"Don't be. I'm here. I'll always be here," she whispered.

Suddenly, there was a loud slam and Mickey was stunned out of sleep, sitting up quickly and ready to pounce.

"Relax, ass face. It's just me. Breakfast is in the kitchen," Mandy said and left his room.

Mickey took a deep breath and shook his head. "Fuckin liar," he mumbled to himself before making his way out of his room to join his siblings in the kitchen.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm kinda proud of this but also kinda apprehensive, but hope you guys enjoyed it.


End file.
